A Second Attempt.

This blog was disbanded after my previous failed attempts to quit. Basically, the story went that as soon as I got home to Northern Ireland, I couldn't do it anymore. And I started smoking again. I set a date to quit (again) on the first of September. It is now the fourth. Today I had my first major craving.

So, I bought a Nicorette inhalator. It is tearing my throat up, but so far, it seems to have been a big help. I really hope I can do it this time. I have only had one major craving today, and that was after a pub lunch with my best friend Lauren.

Back to the land of the Scots this weekend!

The First Major Challenge.

This is it. The first time I have been drunk since quitting. I am dying for a smoke. Andf I mean dying. Yesterday I found a lone cigarette floating about in my bag. I know it sounds pathetic but every time I am craving I hold it and pretend I'm smoking it. I'm sitting in a room with Amos, Crips, and Tricky and every time Amos and Crips light up, I try and breathe in some of the nicotine. I'm typing in this blog now because I am literally going mental without a cigarette. It's easy when I'm sober. FUCKING DIFFICULT when drunk. I wish I was a social smoker then I could be smoking right now....

The Endless Struggle.

Okay, so I have a problem on my hands. Technically I have a lot to do today, but nothing that isn't manageable. The problem? I can't be arsed. Now, Can't Be Arsed (common term, CBA) is a very unfortunate ailment. It prevents me from doing even normal, everyday tasks, such as getting out of bed, or taking a shower. I would love nothing more than to lie in bed for another day, but instead I must:

1. Fill in my claims form
This is getting ridiculous. It's been a month since Easyjet ruined my luggage and I still haven't sent off the claims form. A classic result of CBA.

2. Pack my stuff
As I'm going home for a couple of weeks on Monday, I really have to get the majority of my packing done before then, as I come back on the 28th and that's only a couple of days before I move into my new flat. Problem is, packing takes such a long time, and it's so goddamn tedious that I really CBA.

3. Meet Tricky at the bus station, and Kate for lunch.
Involves walking, but really has to be done.

I have to get up. This CBA can go on no longer. Well... maybe I'll watch a wee episode of something first...

Scotland is Weird.

I swear, they will batter anything. I went to the chippy earlier with Arron and Neggy (I had already eaten, just went along for the ride). Now, to me, a normal purchase from the chip shop would be something along the lines of: fish supper; cheesy chips; mayo chips; gravy chips; a burger; a chicken burger; and at a stretch, maybe a battered sausage supper (though they're foul). No, no. A battered white pudding supper for Negs, and a battered sausage supper for Amos. Okay, but get this. Along with the supper, Arron ordered... potato fritters! 'What on earth are potato fritters?' I hear you ask. Well, basically, they are BATTERED CHIPS. Also on sale at this establishment were BATTERED PIZZA SLICES, BATTERED BURGERS, and the typical Scottish delicacy, battered Mars bars. how does one even discover that it's possible to batter a Mars bar? Maybe in the same way as a girl I know who worked in a chip shop broke her phone by accidentally battering it? was someone eating a Mars bar one day and it slipped? Or maybe fancied a nice hot oil treatment? So anyway, I thought we, the Northern Irish, to be an odd race. Today I was proved wrong.

Oh and by the way, do you know what they call bun cases here? CAKE HOLDERS. That's right, you heard it here first.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the wonders of Northern Ireland, please, and our very NON WEIRD food.

WHEATEN BREAD



THE ULSTER FRY



CLUB ORANGE



and most importantly... TAYTO CRISPS.






Now I'm hungry. All this quitting is going to make me fat.

It's A Sad Day

When two students decide they can't be bothered to get drunk.

Such is the moral dilemma I am facing. I haven't left my flat in days, hell, this is the first time I have even been up in days, my previous posts have all been made from the comfort of my own bed. And yet I can't be bothered to get drunk. Why? With all this lack of nicotine, I should at least be doing something harmful to my body, right?

So I booked my flight home. I'm going for a couple of weeks because I can't get a job here. And, while it's not like I'm spending any money, by lying in bed all day, it also means that my meals consist of either tinned soup or super noodles. Maybe both if I'm feeling crazy (though two nights ago I had a nicotine craving and ate an entire cake!) So at least I could get some proper, home-cooked meals. And I miss my family, friends, and the pubs back home. I also want to visit Tabby's grave for the first time. So that's it settled.

God, work. That's something I really don't want to have to think about. I mean, that's why I came to Art College. Unfortunately, the debt has reached ridiculous levels so it looks like a horrible little waitressing job for everclaire. That is, until I get my raggedy ass to LA on the 25th July and get a real, fun job, hopefully involving some form of mild stalkage. Now that's a job I'd be great at.

Non-smoking efforts have gone well today! I have even survived having my flatmate smoke in the same room as me without breaking down and begging for one... and I am positive he'd spare me a smoke if I asked but I WON'T. To be honest, it really is as easy as I thought to quit. Now I am sure that Tricky is having problems. He smokes a lot more than me, and he has been telling me that since we quit, he has been getting dry mouth, headaches, etc. from the nicotine withdrawal. And he's on patches! Not even going cold turkey! Gah, this is irritating me. I don't even want to quit smoking. I just don't want wrinkles and yellow teeth. I can't even be bothered with talking about this non-smokeage anymore. But hell, it's the reason I started this blog, isn't it?

I don't know if I have spoken about this before, but I watched '24' for the first time a couple of days ago, and so far I have seen the first six episodes of Season Four (I have heard it said that it's possible to watch each season independently, as there is not much space for character development as a season only spans 24-hours). It's pretty good. I'm still not sold on it I guess. I will obviously have to watch the rest of the season to experience the depth of the storyline before I can make a final judgment, but at this point I can state that I am enjoying it so far, however I'm not gripped. I think that the whole idea of having an episode length span 'real time' is a good idea in theory, however not in practice. As I have said before, with a year-ish time frame gap between 'days' (seasons), there allows little time for character development, development of the relationships between characters, etc. We cannot witness relationships flourishing, plausible breakdowns in relationships over a period of time, and so forth. Thus, interpersonal relationships seem forced to me (at this point).

Also, how shite must all these terrorists be if it only takes a day to catch them?!

So, I have been annoying Arron with my chat. The current chat is that... what if life were a TV show? As we are currently in Season Finale territory, that means that some major event should be occurring in all of our lives right now. Someone should die, someone would be pregnant (oh God, please no!), and we should be averting an apocalypse. It is that time of year, after all.

Oh and kudos to Amos for the banner.

Jeff Buckley

Okay so I have this crazy theory. You know how certain people say that there is one person meant for everyone? Well, I think that mine was Jeff Buckley, I was just born at the wrong time, or his unfortunate aquatic accident was never meant to be. I mean, the man was perfect. So now, there is no-one for me, and I feel that it is my destiny to die, old and alone, with holes in the elbows of my cardigans and hundreds of cats. Maybe I'll smell funny, wear smeared lipstick and mumble to myself too, but I haven't decided on that for sure yet. My boyfriend isn't a great fan of this theory of mine, but I can't help it, it's an act of the Gods, and I have been rendered completely powerless.

Sometimes I wonder if my Buckley obsession scares/irritates people. Then I realise that if someone is afraid/irritated then they are clearly mad, because they are not obsessed with Jeff Buckley. So really, I'm the sane one in this equation.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie

I think that TV links rules my life. As I have been sick and unfortunately bed-ridden (well, not sick enough that I have to stay in bed, well enough to take advantage of my illness and stay in bed!), I have been obsessively watching House MD. I mean obsessively. I must have watched about thirty episodes in the past two days. My daily ritual has been eat, watch House, sleep, watch House, eat while watching House, sleep. I swear, my laptop is going to blow up from overuse one of these days.

Anyway, this House re-obsession has allowed me to rediscover 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie', and I must say, I had forgotten just how bloody funny it is! My favourite characters must be Tony and Control, hilarious! Now, what worries me is the fact that, through the influence from House, I have begun to recognise Hugh Laurie as being 'sexy.' Now this is all very well when I am referring to House, but Hugh Laurie in Blackadder? Sexy? God, there must be something wrong with me! I just can't help myself!

Maybe its temporary madness as it is now DAY THREE of being a non-smoker. If I can make it another two days, that will probably be the longest I have ever gone without smoking. I tried to persuade my mum to quit with me, but she was having none of it. I'm going home back to Bangor for a couple of weeks from Monday, so it will be difficult to be around my mum when she is smoking and not to light up myself, because that seems to be one of our 'mother-daughter activities.' I know that seems strange, but my favourite thing to do with my mum is sit on the verandah of my house at home, with a cup of tea and the cats around us, and have a chat and a few cigs.

I'm really not sure if this not smoking malarky will stick.